Archive for March, 2008
I wouldn’t exactly call that a “love scene.”
But it was all hot and metaphorey. And the uncut version is racy!
I MUST have this collection IMMEDIATELY.
I can hardly breathe because my anticipation is so great. That playlist is damn good for an incredibly solid overview of the time period.
Let’s say that a moderately attractive, highly intelligent, very available woman walks into a comic book store to check her reserve box wearing this T-shirt and the jeans that make it look like she actually has an ass. You would think that she might get at least one glance in her direction, right?
But no. The sole comic patron is in the corner between the life-sized Geordi LaForge and Superman cut-outs, jerking off surreptitiously to a vintage issue of X-Men with Kitty Pryde on the cover.
Where have all the good geeks gone?
And, oh my God, I am in love.
I didn’t really catch on at first. I kept asking, “Who’s got the ball? I can’t even see the ball!” (FYI: There’s no ball in roller derby.)
But ten minutes into the bout I turned to Aunt Doodie — whose elbows were already carpet-burned from leaning and scraping against the “railing” at the rink during the bout — and delightedly exclaimed, “I have no idea what’s going on, but it’s all very exciting.” (If you can imagine a wide-eyed Anya delivering this line, you’ll have the gist of my tone and wonderment.)
I think what excites me about roller derby is the same thing I found appealing about professional wrestling way back when I used to follow WWE Pay-Per-Views around the Mid-South: the violence. Although I suppose that, in this instance, it’s more about the potential for violence. Let’s face it: girl-on-girl derby violence is a gozillion times more exciting because it’s for the sake of the game, rather than man-on-man wrestling violence for the sake of scripted entertainment. (Somewhere, a gaggle of niche feminists who just don’t get it are shrieking in horror.)
By intermission (Or whatever. There was a break, okay?), I had decided I had to be a derby girl. I was already envisioning my outfit and trying to come up with an appropriate name. There are just a few complications:
- I’m old (34), and the vast majority of the derby girls I saw competing are in their early 20s.
- I’m incredibly short and am not, in any way, an “imposing figure.”
- I’m an overweight smoker who probably couldn’t make it around the track a single time, much less for two solid minutes in a pack of vicious young women intent on destroying me.
- I can’t roller skate. (This is, um sort of a big barrier.)
But I’m still giving roller derby some semi-serious consideration, because there are clearly a lot of benefits: something to do other than work at the hotel and peruse the Internet; good exercise; an acceptable outlet for pent-up aggression — and much, much more. (I’m assuming, anyway. I’d probably get free nachos after the bouts if I were a team member.)
So this is where you guys get to weigh in. I figure I’ll at least give it a shot; that is, I’ll try to learn how to stay upright on a combined eight wheels, and we’ll see what happens from there. But I need a kick-ass character name to inspire me. There’s a looooong list of registered, in-use names here that can’t be used but might inspire. My favorites are names like “Sandra Day O’Clobber” and “Pound Anya,” which are nice plays-on-words that I find amusing. And I found an anagram-making site, which anagrams my name into “Rabbi Red Rots.” (I thought that was kind of cool and ironic, considering my “reverend-ness.”)