Archive for October, 2006

Oct

28

Jim Dandy to the Rescue

2:06 am · category: Hotel Hell

Weekends are almost always incredibly slow and boring at my new hotel. We might have 30 arrivals at the 255-room property, which means that I’m standing around twiddling my thumbs for eight hours.

But not last weekend. Nope! Last weekend, Black Oak Arkansas was in house, having played a gig at the Metroplex. Thanks to the band and the groupies, it was actually a fun weekend. Thanks, Jim Dandy!

Al Green is in town tonight playing at the Riverfront Amphitheater. I wonder where he’s staying? I’d really like to see that hot grits scar…..

Oct

18

Because Sometimes I’m Just Filthy

10:22 pm · category: Aunt Doodie

The local newspaper has offered my aunt a free 1/4 page ad in the newspaper for her dog grooming business, provided the ad says something along the lines of “advertising with you has helped my business by ________.” Because I was the advertising creative consultant to a newspaper for awhile, she asked me to write an ad for her. This is what I came up with:

“Thanks for helping us advertise our business. Now everyone in town knows we make bitches look good and that pussies aren’t allowed.”

She decided to go with different copy.

Oct

13

Holst 1, Tombaugh 0

2:38 pm · category: Embracing My Inner Geek

It’s a good thing Gustav Holst died just a couple of years after Clyde Tombaugh discovered Pluto, because otherwise he might have felt a lot of pressure to add a whole other piece to The Planets.

Man, I really need to get a life so I don’t have these sorts of thoughts at 3 a.m.

Oct

7

NOT Part of Her World

2:05 pm · category: Aunt Doodie

I’ve been staying with my aunt this week until I can get my things moved into my new townhouse. Now, my aunt has this beautiful mane of all-natural, butt length, fire red, tiny corkscrew curls hair. She was reclining on the couch the other night with her hair fanned out behind her when the following conversation ensued:

Me: Has anyone ever asked you to dress up like a mermaid?
Aunt: You mean, like, for sex?
Me: No, like for Halloween or something.
Aunt: Oh! Well, then no.

Oct

6

At First I Thought She Developed a Cleft Palate…

2:29 pm · category: Kids Are All Right, The


… but it turns out she’s just making a funny face. And my goodness, she’s just far too cute for words.


Apparently, I have to give my sister some credit. I think her little girl is just as pretty as can be. Which is why it startles me every time someone talks about how much the little girl looks like her mother. (Where’s that raised eyebrow icon from the WD when you need it?) I guess you just don’t recall your siblings being very eye-pleasing when they’re whining and crying and pooping and holding you at bay with golf clubs and knives.

Yeah, I’m talking about you, Kyli.

Oct

5

Good Bye, Fawlty Towers

2:15 pm · category: Hotel Hell

So, I started my new job this week. For the last seven months I’ve been the GM of a mid-scale, limited service hotel in southern Arkansas just ten miles from the Louisiana border. I loved what I did, but I hated being so far away from home (200 miles from any family), being on call 24 hours a day, and making $24K a year.

Now I’m working the front desk at a full-service, 255-room hotel in Little Rock, which is just 60 miles from home. I’ll work five days a week and will never be on call.

That’s the short version. I’ll tell more when I have a better feel for the job.