Jun

12

Top Six Things That Piss Me Off Right Now

4:32 pm · category: Uncategorized
  • None of the local grocery stores carry Grapples. There are 8000 varieties of apples (I checked!), and I want the only one that is unavailable at my local grocery store. Dammit, give me my Frankenfruit!
  • Apparently, the deadly pfiesteric piscicida is a microscopic fish killer that inhabits rivers in the eastern U.S. It shoots a paralyzing toxin at its prey and then eats holes in the prey’s flesh. Dammit. One more reason to panic about my August business trip to Atlanta. No swimming for me!
  • The first thermometers were filled with brandy, not mercury. And my stupid time machine is out of order.
  • “Irregardless” is not a word. It is a crime against the English language to use this not-word. Stop using it now, or face my eternal wrath and indignation.
  • Hamburger Helper discontinued its Rice Oriental selection. I am harboring seething resentment.
  • Three years ago, I took my church youth group to the zoo. There was a snake loose on the grounds, and nobody bothered to alert me, despite my incapacitating fear of snakes. This is the kind of “pissed off” that never dies.

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