May

27

“Levelized,” My Ass

12:50 pm · category: House Calls

When I moved into my breadbox, the electric company (Entergy) offered me levelized billing, which is calculated by taking “1/12 of the last 12 month’s actual bill amounts plus 1/12 of the accumulated difference between the last 12 month’s actual bill amounts and the levelized bill amounts.” The clerk told me it would average about $88 a month. I found this hard to swallow because my last house was almost three times the size of my current breadbox, and the (non-levelized) electric bill was usually between $60 and $70. Besides, my current breadbox has been sitting empty for two years, and, well, how do you figure the last 12 months of anything if it’s been empty for 24 months? Because I think that would make my bill $0. But I’m not so good with the maths, so I was afraid I might have screwed myself by foregoing the levelized billing option.

Guess how much my Entergy bill was for the first full month in residence. No, seriously. Go ahead and guess. Do you have a figure in your head? Okay. Let’s compare that to the actual bill, which was for — Are you ready for this? — $20.01

$20.01.

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. Two sawbucks and one shiny Lincoln penny. This is what happens when you live in a breadbox with a mini-fridge, a hot plate, a toaster oven, and a gas hot water heater. (FYI: My gas bill was $20.85.)

If I had any rhythm, I’d be doing my dance of electricity conservation superiority.

I may be a sucker, but I’m not your sucker, Entergy!

4 Responses to ““Levelized,” My Ass”

Leave a Reply