Dec

2

It Ain’t Samsonite

5:23 pm · category: The Whole Fam Damnly
My father is an intelligent, well-educated man working in a professional field. He plays golf and has a certain fashion flair. He’s an excellent cook and a tremendously gifted writer. He’s as funny as they come. He’s a cool guy. But there’s the bag thing.
Recently, I’ve noticed that Daddy has been carrying a bag. In that bag he carries his wallet, keys and pocket knife. The bag also holds pencils, a packet of tissues, a checkbook, paperclips, chapstick, and other odds and ends.
It might sound as though Daddy is a progressive man. You might be thinking to yourself, “How wonderfully metrosexual of him.” You might be recalling the Seinfeld episode in which Jerry begins carrying a “man purse” (Or, as he called it, a “European carry-all.”).
But you would be wrong.
You see, my father carries these things in a one-gallon Ziplock bag. You know, the kind with the zipper lock. He clutches it under his arm, and he carries it everywhere. He calls it a “disposable attache case.”
That, in and of itself, was bad enough. But a couple of weeks ago he went on a weekend trip. Despite the fact that we have at least four nice pieces of luggage in our home (and several more put away in a storage building), Daddy “packed” his things in a large trash bag. “Disposable luggage,” he called it.
I am mortified.
(Also, I am really confused right now because I cannot get spaces/empty lines between my paragraphs. Blogger Help has been, umm, unhelpful. Ideas?)

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