My Latest Crafty Caper

12:30 am · category: Uncategorized

My mother’s birthday is Sunday, and I’ve bought her nothing. And, in fact, I still will not have bought her anything when that day arrives. You see, I don’t buy birthday presents — or Christmas or Mother’s Day presents, for that matter. No, those are jobs for my younger sisters, who bitch and moan because I’m not doing my part. However, I suspect that they really don’t mind so much because they know I have bad taste. Besides, I always pay my part.

Daddy has the anti-gift buying gene, too, so this year it fell to my sister L. to buy gifts for our mother from us girls as well as from my father. There was a slight hitch in the plan, though, when my mother offered to go shopping with my sister tomorrow, which is the day L. had planned to choose gifts. Things were further complicated by the fact that she lives a few towns over and my father hadn’t yet given her any money.

I, however, have solved this problem. I’m sending the money with my mother — right under her nose! I slipped the bill inside a skein of yarn between the wrapper and the yarn itself and put it in a bag for my mother to give to L. It was all easily explained because the yarn is pale pink, and I told Mama that L. needed to make a baby afghan for our recently pregnant cousin.

I am a sly and creative genius. Mwa-ha-ha-ha!

I figure if this works out, I’m going to frame someone for murder, then sneak a file into a cake while they’re in prison.

One Response to “My Latest Crafty Caper”

Leave a Reply