Archive for October, 2004



Count My Many Blessings, Count Them One By One

2:18 am · category: Uncategorized

First, I am indebted to my Aunt Sandy for her purchase of the Firefly DVDs, which she shared with me this weekend. Fourteen-plus hours of Joss Whedon goodness all cram-packed into a 24-hour timespan: what more could one ask for? Well, okay, the taco soup and Mexican cornbread were really good, too. Plus, she bought deep-dish pan pizza for me, knowing that I’ve spent the better part of my life longing for it because my mother is a thin crust junkie.

Secondly, I am grateful for the job from one Robert Traylor, Jr., a past member of the Arkansas Legislature whose great-grandfather was one of the first itinerant Methodist ministers in Arkansas. Mr. Traylor has hired me to put his family history into book form, and it has thus far been a pleasure to both have that kind of work again and to learn about such a fascinating family with a rich and colorful history. I especially enjoyed the stories about the condoms hidden in the fedora and the time Cousin Lonzo burned down the outhouse when he was smoking that “wacky tobaccy.” It’s also been nice to revisit my desktop publishing roots and therefore rediscover that I haven’t completely lost my touch. I will never have the foresight to predict coming trends or even stay on top of current ones, but I do a fine job when it comes to the clean and classic look.

And finally, I’m thrilled to have a meeting tomorrow with my district superintendent to discuss the possibility of my receiving a full- or part-time pastoral appointment in June 2005. I’m certain that I’m ready for such a position, and the idea of that kind of opportunity just makes me tingle. But more than anything, perhaps, I’m proud of myself for having the guts to ask for the meeting when I’ve received so little encouragement from those are directly involved in my ministerial training outside of my seminary professors.

Right now, I’m all about the power of prayer.



My Latest Crafty Caper

12:30 am · category: Uncategorized

My mother’s birthday is Sunday, and I’ve bought her nothing. And, in fact, I still will not have bought her anything when that day arrives. You see, I don’t buy birthday presents — or Christmas or Mother’s Day presents, for that matter. No, those are jobs for my younger sisters, who bitch and moan because I’m not doing my part. However, I suspect that they really don’t mind so much because they know I have bad taste. Besides, I always pay my part.

Daddy has the anti-gift buying gene, too, so this year it fell to my sister L. to buy gifts for our mother from us girls as well as from my father. There was a slight hitch in the plan, though, when my mother offered to go shopping with my sister tomorrow, which is the day L. had planned to choose gifts. Things were further complicated by the fact that she lives a few towns over and my father hadn’t yet given her any money.

I, however, have solved this problem. I’m sending the money with my mother — right under her nose! I slipped the bill inside a skein of yarn between the wrapper and the yarn itself and put it in a bag for my mother to give to L. It was all easily explained because the yarn is pale pink, and I told Mama that L. needed to make a baby afghan for our recently pregnant cousin.

I am a sly and creative genius. Mwa-ha-ha-ha!

I figure if this works out, I’m going to frame someone for murder, then sneak a file into a cake while they’re in prison.



Note to Self:

12:06 am · category: Uncategorized

You know how you always politely decline when people offer you coffee, because you just don’t like the taste? And if you happen to accept, you get grossed out afterwards because the aftertaste makes you kind of nauseated? And you know how you very, very rarely might have a cappuccino because it’s really cold or you need a big caffeine burst? And afterwards you spaz and no one can understand a word you’re saying?

Well, sister, let me give you yet another reason you should avoid such beverages. Let’s say you had one of those rare cappuccinos because you had a mid-term and needed that little nudge to get you through it. And let’s say that you had another cappuccino after the test because it was cold and rainy and you felt the need to celebrate. So all is good and fine for the next several hours, since you drank the second one at 4:00 p.m.

Be forewarned: everything comes crashing down about six hours later because you can’t get rid of the taste in your mouth no matter how many times you brush your teeth. And the entire experience is further complicated by the fact that caffeine somehow also stimulates other parts of your system, and you’re left running to the bathroom every ten minutes clutching a can of deoderizer.

Let this be a lesson to you, recorded for posterity for intimate friends and complete strangers to read.



12:14 am · category: The Whole Fam Damnly

And this, my friends, is why Tayden gets the award for Cutest Baby Ever. Posted by Hello